That’s how it’s supposed to start. Then you answer with “yes” or some variation of the word yes, but a yes nonetheless. If you all got engaged on a Friday then you will probably have a blissful weekend. Ignoring the phone and the animals (if you have any). Just blissfully ignoring the world and then…. Monday morning comes like it always does after Sunday and you now have a ring on your left hand on that 3rd finger. Yes that’s the one the ring finger. So if the finger was empty before EVERYONE will notice (a little trick I learned when I was 16 and started dating, I am from Louisiana the people here are weird, so yes they notice your left ring finger at 16. Hell they notice the minute you begin dating. Anyways I always wore a ring on it, my left ring finger of course. When I got engaged I was able to hide it for about 6 weeks. Because it took me 6 weeks to research and fall in love with wedding planning and plan an engagement party. Yes 6 weeks and I probably could’ve thrown my wedding but my engagement party did cost $2,657.86 and my wedding was only $6,958.36. So I learned a lot in 49 weeks. I learned the power of the budget, D.I.Y., local businesses, and newcomers. But the absolute best thing I learned was that I loved planning weddings and everything leading up to the wedding day. We were given a choice get married and have a wedding or go to the court house get married and have a small dinner party but get an all inclusive honeymoon. Of course after I had spent almost $3k on an engagement party and I never really thought I would get married I was all for taking the honeymoon. To my utter shock my then fiance now husband said he wanted a big wedding. I mean I thought the wedding would be fun and man I was excited to plan one (my baby shower was a disaster because my mom who I for some reason thought could plan parties because she planned my bday parties) did a horrific job planning it. I wanted to plan it myself but she thought that was ridiculous (she also thought registering was ridiculous. I should have known) anyways Joel wanted a big wedding so since his parents were putting $5,000.00 to the cause I started to plan our wedding. I did not realize what a true passion was until the first month of planning was done or underway. Planning weddings was my absolute passion. I fell in love with everything about weddings and I was only 6 weeks into planning but I couldn’t deny it. I realized that day in 2003 that I wanted to be a wedding planner so when someone mentioned hiring one I flipped out because no way in hell was I giving that up. I am sort of sad I have only been married once. I planned a 10 year anniversary/vow renewal but I got arrested and sentenced to 6 months 3 weeks before my vow renewal and it was going to be better than my wedding originally was. I knew so much more then I did when I originally planned our wedding and I had planned 2 other weddings besides mine 4 baby showers, 3 bridal showers, 2 wedding showers, a bachelorette party, and 2 rehearsal dinners. So yeah I was pissed but maybe we will have a 20 year anniversary party/vow renewal if we are still together and he has bought me a real 1.5 ctw diamond ring. If not well I might plan another wedding for myself someday or a very large divorce party. Any who I am sure I have left you with more questions than answers so let’s fix that. I was sentenced to 6 months in St. Tammany Parish jail because I violated my misdemeanor probation I did 70 days got put on 2 years felony probation and it has now been 7 years and I’m great. So your engaged yah.. YEAH!!!! But what do you do?

1] Plan a family dinner or meeting something so that you and your partner can tell your family’s together.

2) Find out if either family will be pitching in and how much they will be able to give? This will help you guys determine a BUDGET this is very important. It gives you an idea of what you can spend. So essentially it let’s you both know what kind of wedding you can have?

3) Call a planner. When you meet with your planner(or potential planner) have questions ready. Also have a vision or a vision board and a budget. I can do a lot with a budget and a vision. I could have you married and happily on your honeymoon in 3 weeks with a vision and a budget. But think of all the possibilities a year will give you to change your mind.

4) Set a date or if you can’t decide on an exact date yet pick a season. This is easier to do if you two have decided if your wedding will be inside or outside.

So recap 1.) Tell family then everyone else 2.) Set a budget 3.) Meet with and choose a planner 4.) Have a vision INSIDE or OUTSIDE; NIGHT or DAY; TIME of YEAR or SEASON; 5.)Set a date; or pick a month at least. Then colors and your vision will start to show. Write it all down, sketch it , draw it, or doodle it. You can also set up a website that will help you and keep you on track. Weddingwire.com is a great app and website also theknot.com.

Once you have a budget and a season at least the date, time, and colors will fall into place and until next time remember it doesn’t matter the where, how, when, or even why but it is about WHO.

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Every single time I fill out any kind of form or paper or application or anything. Even stupid surveys that are literally a waste of time because nobody every really wins anything at all. But anyways everything always ask married or single or widowed or it’s complicated. Not that it’s complicated is even a choice except on Facebook, but it is complicated. First off most paper form thingys try to be descreet by asking if you have a tittle. Mrs. Miss Ms. Or Mr. Ah but you see that a man is always just a Mr., maybe that is why they still think they are they are the dominant ones in well everything. I mean they really don’t see us taking over because they are so f**king cocky that they are missing the part where we are taking over. That’s fine and all I hope they don’t catch on until it’s to late, because it will sure make life easier for us all. Honestly I am not a voting person and I will never be one. I mean they really don’t count do they?? I guess in high school it counts but past that it’s just a pleasantry to make us think that someone cares. But nobody really cares. I hate that the older I get the more I know about the world being fake. Like reality shows, wrestling, and I really think the NFL is also planned. I could be wrong about the NFL but really knows. The point being that everything is scripted except life. I know there is a script and I would love to live like this is The Trueman Show but… No no I wouldn’t nevermind I felt so bad for him. I could not imagine waking up one day and noticing that my life was a lie and nobody believed me instead they thought I was crazy. That movie actually gave me nightmares. I seem to loose my train of thought quite a bit and I am sorry about that but it’s who I am. Oh yeah scripted stories and everything being fake in this world well I know my relationship is far from scripted or fake and some days I wish it was cause it would make things a whole lot easier but probably repetitive. I mean you can only have the same interesting storyline so many times. But you never know what everyday life is going to be like. I mean you don’t know what today will bring or tomorrow. The only thing I do know is every day is a blessing and a surprise. So enjoy it and live your fullest life. Other wise you might regret it.

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OMG I am so sorry for anybody who has been on my blog and probably thinks I’m a flake. Well I did totally abandon my own blog and my 2 readers. I profusely apologize. I am so sorry. Ok so ( I don’t know if I have two readers or none) but I should not have left you all hanging. So let’s get down to business. COVID-19 what the hell I literally feel like it’s a test for the ones of us that are so lucky to be married!!! But I want to kill my husband right now and have felt that way for about 2 months. For anyone out there reading this that has lost someone to this horrible virus I am so sorry. I can not imagine the pain you are going through. I lost a really good friend well he was more like my best friends dad but he’s been in my life for 22 years and I will forever miss him. So just for you Doug Gamso I am so sorry and I will try and make my marriage work because I know how much you loved Joel* (no names have been changed because I don’t care about my husbands identity) anyways back to living in quarantine. I keep hearing that divorce lawyers are going to be the highest paid people to come out of this situation well that and OB/GYN doctors. That’s quite a contradiction like 2 sides of a completely different coin. One thing that was particularly interesting and hard for me was I had no idea how bad I was suffering with PTSD from hurricane Katrina until this happened. Like it was hard to understand that the whole world was suffering because I kept thinking in my mind it was just here (in Louisiana) then I was like no wait this is worldwide and it is like I couldn’t understand how the whole world was going through this. It basically meant that there was no where’s to escape because everyone was/is going through the same thing. So yeah scary stuff.

Now back to my original reason for posting (besides the fact that I really let people down by promising them every week) I feel like this quarantine was a test for all of us. It was a test of will and look at how much crime has happened in a week. It is like the world has gone crazy. And maybe they have who am I to judge. I think said it best when he said “we all go a little crazy sometimes”, he was a killer but a lot of please are also killers now. Point being I really hate my husband most days now and I feel legitimate hate. I want to just hit him every time he talks, breathes, walks, or shit does anything. He is driving me crazy. I am sure a lot of y’all know how I feel so I down loaded a book to my kindle ( I have Amazon prime, but it is not prime anymore so I minus well use my kindle for free books.) It is a relationship book that is like counseling for us. You have to put work into it every week. We started last Friday and have yet to reveine. I did my work sheet on top of school work but he lost his. I get it I really do why and the hell do we need to work on our marriage if it’s fine. That is the problem though right there. FINE!!!! I don’t want fine I want love why else would I want to stay in this marriage if it’s going to be fine?? I think my pants fit fine, I like those shoes just fine but what does all this have in common??? I can live without it. I like a lot of people out there thought fine was enough until it wasn’t and I am just now realizing it is not enough. So I am going to try harder but I am not going to keep trying alone. And I promise I will post later this week to keep my blog going.

HI guys I am so very sorry that it has taken me 3 weeks to write again. I promised I would stick to my schedule but after starting school on the 21st of January to finally **<drum roll please>** finish getting my Bachelors degree I just haven’t had any time. Also I got writer’s block which never happens considering my brain is always on. But without further ado let’s get started on my second blog post.

So I promised I would mix it up and give you a helpful and necessary timeline to start planning the wedding of your dreams. Well I hate this part as much as you, but first things first. Before I give you a list or beginning timeline of things to prepare 15-12 months before the big day I want you to really sit and think about what I am about to ask you. Why him/her out of everyone else who you have dated you NEED to ask yourself this question. There is no right or wrong answer, but it is a very important question that you should think about. After you have asked and answered the question and everything still seems right then proceed. First things first throw out every single expectation, binders, notes, or ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE EVER COLLECTED FOR YOUR WEDDING DAY. Because you need a new visionary board with the both of ya’ll in it and something that is in the ….. Budget, but don’t worry about not getting the wedding you want, because when there’s a will there’s a way. I just want you and your partner to build the dream together. Even if you think person that you are marrying doesn’t care about the wedding, think again. So, after you have both asked and answered the first question I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you too. Start a new visionary board together with a budget in mind. Also think about five things that you absolutely HAVE TO HAVE something no matter the price you can not let go of. Rather it be the venue, or the dress, or the band. Just make a list of five things you refuse to cut. Then you will have a better idea of your budget. Now you also need to speak to family members and friends to see if anyone is willing to put any money into your wedding budget maybe in lieu of a gift. It doesn’t hurt to ask and DO NOT let PRIDE get in the way. Once you have your family involved, you have set a budget, and started a new visionary board with your new life partner. Oh and decided on five things that you are not willing to let go of. You should have a pretty good idea of what kind of wedding ya’ll both want. Next would be to pick a date which will also fluctuate the cost and the type of wedding. Like for example I got married on August 11, 2004 in Louisiana so I had to have an indoor wedding, otherwise, nobody would have survived and the pictures would have been horrible because I would have sweated off my makeup and my hair would have been a frizzy mess. So again the date can and will effect certain decisions. Once those are all sorted downloaded some of the apps like wedding wre, the knot, lady marry, and wed box to name a few. They will become the most important app you have for the next year or so. Then you need to figure out if you can afford a wedding planner in the budget. You need to interview at least 3 and compare prices and likeness because if you don’t like them they should not be involved with such an important day. My next blog post will give you a questionnaire for you to know what to ask potential wedding planners. In the meantime you can always ask me a question any questions, actually. I am a party and event planner so feel free. I will see everyone Sunday with some advice about marriage and what it means to me. See you all soon and even though it’s Thursday I am still going to say Happy Friday!!!

He was seventeen and I was too, and for the first time in my life I was in love and felt loved. We spent everyday together starting in May 2002. We became best friends hanging out every single day and building an extremely intimate bond. The funny thing is our bond started over us dealing with break ups. His was worse than mine but when you’re seventeen all break ups seem like the end of the world. I had known him for over a year but we never really hung out, we just shared a mutual friend. I never really thought of him as anybody except Jon’s little brother. Well I guess fate or destiny or some other kind of divine intervention stepped in cause after his high school graduation Jon and him fell out, he had to move to Baton Rouge, La. to start college, and his girlfriend at the time was always cheating on him so they were breaking up. Well being the kind of person I am I was genuinely worried about him. I mean his whole life had changed and he had nobody to turn to, and he was only seventeen. So I basically forced myself into his life and I am glad I did.

Let’s go back to May of 2002 that’s when we started hanging out every day and somewhere along the line our friendship started morphing into something more. I started to have feelings for him in June, but I didn’t act on them or show them in any way. He was starting at LSU in the Fall and had an apartment in Baton Rouge while I had my own place in Covington. Again, he had just graduated high school, his parents both moved to Texas, his best friend/brother wasn’t talking to him, and his girlfriend of three years was cheating on him but using him at the same time. She and her baby (she got pregnant by someone else while they were together and told him it was his, but the other boys parents paid for a paternity test and it was not Joel’s but it was the other boy’s baby) lived with Joel because she needed a place to stay and they were technically still dating. So, I kept my feelings out of it, but at the beginning of July Joel started staying over my house more and more. I asked him if his girlfriend was going to get mad but he said they had broken up completely in June but she had no place to go so she was staying at his place. Well around the middle of July he kicked her out and she went crazy. She destroyed stuff in his apartment, stalked him at my house, and did a lot of crazy things and we were not even dating. Sometime around July 20th my roommate and I decided to buy some tabs(MDMA) and roll I asked Joel if he wanted to come with us and roll he agreed and that’s the first time he showed interest in me. He tried kissing me and I was shocked but thrilled that he had feelings for me. Because we were both under the influence of some pretty hard drugs I turned him down and explained the reason why. Well after that night we became a couple or so I thought. I was so happy and in love, I felt so loved it was amazing and the first time in my life that I really felt like someone loved me. It was the first time in my life that I actually felt like there was a reason to live. On August 10, 2002 we had sex for the first time (first time with each other because we were not virgins) and it was amazing. I really wish we were each others first but I couldn’t change the past. Then on August 11, 2002 he went back to Baton Rouge. He left while I was asleep, didn’t leave a note, and didn’t tell me I was distraught I couldn’t understand what happened or why. I was so hurt he wouldn’t answer my calls and he didn’t try to call me, but I kept calling him. He finally answered on August 12th and I asked him to meet me at waffle House in Covington at 9pm. When he showed up I could tell something was bothering him so I asked him but he shrugged it off and asked me why I asked him to meet me at a Waffle House. I asked him how could he lead me on for months sleep with me and just disappear. At that point he looked shocked and said he didn’t disappear but had a class on August 11th and fell asleep afterwards but when he got ahold of me I sounded off and asked him to meet me at Waffle House. Basically it was a miscommunication and I officially asked him out he said yes, that was 17 1/2 years ago and we are still together. It hasn’t been easy AT ALL.

Now, that is probably the one and only time my blog will have so much information about me. I just wanted anyone and everyone to understand that I AM NOT A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. All of my advice from here on out is basically from books and/or experiences. With that said I am qualified in Wedding and Event Planning, well certified. I have a certification from Stradford Career Institute in Wedding planning and I have one in Event planning. I will post two times a week on this blog Tuesday nights and Friday nights. On Tuesday I will post Wedding & Event planning advice starting with a checklist and timeline. I will follow the time line starting from the 15-12 months before the big day. I will go through the check list and answer all emails, but I will give budget friendly advice. On Friday I will post marriage and relationship advice and try to help answer any and all emails. From time to time I will have real life stories thrown in but nothing like this post. I am extremely excited to start this new journey and hope I prove myself worthy of a lot of people. So click the subscribe button below send in your questions and I will be back Tuesday January 14th 2020 with a new post. You said YES but have no clue what you need to do next. Tune in Tuesday to find out. Goodnight everyone and here we go.

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

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