OMG I am so sorry for anybody who has been on my blog and probably thinks I’m a flake. Well I did totally abandon my own blog and my 2 readers. I profusely apologize. I am so sorry. Ok so ( I don’t know if I have two readers or none) but I should not have left you all hanging. So let’s get down to business. COVID-19 what the hell I literally feel like it’s a test for the ones of us that are so lucky to be married!!! But I want to kill my husband right now and have felt that way for about 2 months. For anyone out there reading this that has lost someone to this horrible virus I am so sorry. I can not imagine the pain you are going through. I lost a really good friend well he was more like my best friends dad but he’s been in my life for 22 years and I will forever miss him. So just for you Doug Gamso I am so sorry and I will try and make my marriage work because I know how much you loved Joel* (no names have been changed because I don’t care about my husbands identity) anyways back to living in quarantine. I keep hearing that divorce lawyers are going to be the highest paid people to come out of this situation well that and OB/GYN doctors. That’s quite a contradiction like 2 sides of a completely different coin. One thing that was particularly interesting and hard for me was I had no idea how bad I was suffering with PTSD from hurricane Katrina until this happened. Like it was hard to understand that the whole world was suffering because I kept thinking in my mind it was just here (in Louisiana) then I was like no wait this is worldwide and it is like I couldn’t understand how the whole world was going through this. It basically meant that there was no where’s to escape because everyone was/is going through the same thing. So yeah scary stuff.
Now back to my original reason for posting (besides the fact that I really let people down by promising them every week) I feel like this quarantine was a test for all of us. It was a test of will and look at how much crime has happened in a week. It is like the world has gone crazy. And maybe they have who am I to judge. I think said it best when he said “we all go a little crazy sometimes”, he was a killer but a lot of please are also killers now. Point being I really hate my husband most days now and I feel legitimate hate. I want to just hit him every time he talks, breathes, walks, or shit does anything. He is driving me crazy. I am sure a lot of y’all know how I feel so I down loaded a book to my kindle ( I have Amazon prime, but it is not prime anymore so I minus well use my kindle for free books.) It is a relationship book that is like counseling for us. You have to put work into it every week. We started last Friday and have yet to reveine. I did my work sheet on top of school work but he lost his. I get it I really do why and the hell do we need to work on our marriage if it’s fine. That is the problem though right there. FINE!!!! I don’t want fine I want love why else would I want to stay in this marriage if it’s going to be fine?? I think my pants fit fine, I like those shoes just fine but what does all this have in common??? I can live without it. I like a lot of people out there thought fine was enough until it wasn’t and I am just now realizing it is not enough. So I am going to try harder but I am not going to keep trying alone. And I promise I will post later this week to keep my blog going.
liveMAJESTIClove 